THORNS BENEATH THE ROSE: Proquel Story to Life of a Teenage Girl- Naomi
Have you ever wondered why babies cry when they come out of the womb? I’ve had a lot of time to reason it out but no answer comes to mind. Some would say that it’s biologically normal. In a deeper thinking than that, I would say that they realized that they have come into a war zone. It’s really a war zone! Truly, they don’t know it’s a war zone. How could they have known when they get everything done for them, everyone loves them and everyone even carries them and dance around. But then, the reality pops in when they are grown enough to realize they are in a war zone!
If I had known this much at birth, I would have armed myself with the best armor to engage in the fierce battle of human survival of the fittest. I use to have life like a firework- bursting out with happiness and cheering all the way until the reality began to get dawn on me.
My name is Naomi. I was born in the year 2000, February 23rd at St. Thomas Hospital. I am currently 14; I lived in England before I moved to Nigeria. It all started in Primary School back in England when my fears took complete control of me. I never really cared about school or studying for that matter- may be because they never made it really serious for us. Reading is one of my biggest fears, I couldn’t read well. The words were terrifying. Every time in school when I was asked to read out loud or I even hear the word- “read”, my heart would start racing like a cheetah running after it’s pray. I would start shaking almost instantly and my eyes would slowly fill up with tears. All the air in my throat would leave my body in haste and I’d start to breakdown. I have never been my parent’s favorite child to praise because I’m not that smart with school works. My siblings, Michael and Tiffany were the best at any subject and they would always get praises from my parents. Do you know what it feels like to live and not feel alive? Even at my young age, I was depressed. I couldn’t spell or make my own family proud of me in any way- or so I thought.
I’m a very shy person; I don’t like talking. I’m the girl that cries out so loud in the silence and no one hears nor notices. I hated myself so much that I had to live behind masks- hiding my true sadness with a happy-face mask – so everyone would think I’m okay. No one knew the real me or how much I was hurting.
People would say “in time, things get better”. But for me, it only got worse. I was failing in school and failing in life; the battle was fierce. Everyone was a lot smarter and better than me. I never had faith in myself. When I got to Secondary School, oops! It was too much for me to handle. I would cry every day and every night, wishing that I could be someone else, because I hated myself. Nothing I ever did was right. I thought of the quickest way out and that’s when I fell in love with music. It was my only good friend that brought me happiness. I got bullied a lot at my Secondary School- Dame Alice Owens. People would always pick on me and call me mean names because I wasn’t smart like them and because I was shy. They kept filling my head with negativity and soon enough, I started believing them and developed social anxiety and phobia. I cried myself to sleep every night. Suddenly, it occurred to me that my parents were really supportive to me, helping me keep my head up, telling me that what the bullies said to me were lies and I am worth a lot.
…yet another leap
Then my family and I moved to Nigeria. This was another huge leap for me. I was terrified of what would happen to me even though it seemed a way out my horror in England. Would I be able to cope, I always ask myself? Until one Sunday that I went to church and the pastor was preaching about “Challenges in Life” – how what you say is what you become. He said “All things are possible with God. You need to believe in yourself and prove to the people against you that they are wrong about you. God loves you!”.
After that day in Church, my life started to change for the better. I told myself that if I keep on living negatively, I would never be successful. I changed the way I was thinking and believed in myself a lot more. My faith grew stronger. I know I’m still shy and have some difficulties; I’m a work-in-progress, getting to success. My school work improved and I got along fine in my new school – International Community School, thanks to my private teacher. Mr. Beejay has been a god-sent. He always has the right word for me at every time I am on my down-side. With how much he has taught and shown me, I know I can reach my life goal which is to become a Trial Lawyer, through the help of God. My future is bright and I couldn’t be happier.
“All things are possible though Christ that strengthens me” Philippines 4:13 (Paraphrased).
STORY BY: NAOMI.