| Posted in Extras

Have you sometimes wondered why people perceive, talk or relate with you in a certain way or particular manner, whether positively or negatively? Whichever way it is, truth is, you started it! You gave them the lenses through which they should look at you, the thought they should have of you and the kind of person they should know you to be. You gave them all the impressions they have of you and you know what is said about impression?

“You can never have the second chance to make the first impression”

and often times we misrepresent ourselves on the first impression, most times unconsciously. There’s no way you can fault anyone who formed an opinion of you based on the feeds they get from their first interaction with you; it’s going to make a lasting impression on them.
It’s been for so long popularly said that

“The way you dress is the way you’ll be addressed”

and that remains an eternal truth, although perhaps in equal percent rating as in the contextual definition of dressing and appearance because they both matter a great deal- that will be mentioned later, and as much important also is the kind of energy you give out, your composure, your speech and utterances and your line of reasoning. All these can be easily summed up to determine the kind of impression the other person will have of you on the first meeting with you.

Let’s highlight some of these things mentioned above that constitute the impressions we give others especially when we’re making first acquaintance of them;

Your Appearance
Although, we do not have to judge others by what they wear but most times, the way we dress is the internal reflection of who we think we are or what we feel per time. I was at an event at Sheraton Hotels and Towers in Abuja, Nigeria, some years back and while the MC was looking for some children to engage in a game, a particular boy was spotted and he was called up to join the set selected for the game. Looking at that boy, we all got the same impression the MC definitely had- the boy was badly dressed and already dirty when the party was just starting; he must have been brought in by a low-class parent who knows the celebrant or he, with his parent, gate-crashed the event. But to disappoint all of our impression, when the boy was asked who brought him and where he lives, he simply said, “I live here.”
We didn’t get it at first but when he was asked, “where are your parents?”
“They are inside,” he responded, pointing towards the towers of the hotel.
“You mean you live here with your parents?” the MC couldn’t back down.
“Yes” he nodded confidently.
“Which of the rooms,” he probed further perhaps the boy is just making things up.
“Suite 012 on the fifth floor.”

His story sure checked out when a reliable source confirmed that his family has a permanent suite in the five star hotel but who would have thought? His appearance had given us a very wrong impression of who he is and the family he represents. If he wasn’t called up, he would have passed completely for a family of commoner and treated same way in a ‘high class event’ while the parent would have wondered how and why? But obviously, it started with them by not giving a good and befitting appearance to their child, thereby he represented them as we thought.

But our perception of them didn’t change who they are, you may say. Yes, it didn’t but it then raised another question about the character and capacity of their parenting. Who could afford to have a permanent suite in a five star hotel and allow their child to be in public eyes looking unkempt and abandoned?

Your Manner of Approach
In like manner as above is the way you address or talk to others. It also goes a long way to tell what kind of response you get and how subsequently people will talk to you because you have said whom you are in just the manner you talk to them. I always quote,

“What you say is as important as how you say it.”

And remember,

“What you say about people do not tell you anything about them but rather tells them everything about you.”

If you don’t know how to present yourself, be sure you will always be misunderstood and if you don’t have the right manner of approach, you will be known for a fool. If you disrespect others when you talk to them, there’s no way you will be respected when they respond to you. If by the virtue of your superiority, you use that advantage to disrespect others, their respect for you will only be a lip service and be sure they won’t mind your downfall if they can facilitate it. Next time you get a negative energy response from people, first ask yourself what kind of energy do I emit?

More things your manner of approach reveals are your knowledge base and reasoning capacity which determine the content of what you say; how shallow or deep you are in your depth of wisdom. For sure, everyone knows and wants to relate with people with good and sound mind. Sapiosexuality isn’t a bad thing. This is why I always say that it’s important to

Know something about everything and everything about something.

Borrowing from the holy book, it says,

“Study to show yourself approved…”

keep a sound knowledge base and let it bring you great opportunities.

Conversely to the points above, I can also allude to the fact that sometime you haven’t done nor said anything before you get the negative energy hoarded right at you and the person bringing them could care less about it. The discussion above is still your remedial action. You don’t have to respond same way because you will be nothing different from such person. Importantly, you must be able to calm the situation or redirect the negative energy, by counter-acting instead of reacting to such form of unacceptable social Interaction. When you always react to people’s actions, you become subjective to whatever they pose at you when you could have simply choose your response to form a counter-action that will normalize the anomaly. When someone starts off with you with a negative energy and you give it back, it simple, expect more…and so the cycle continues.

Henceforth, stop wondering why your relationship with people is the way it is; now you know! So, make amends and stop complaining about how your boss, peers, subordinates or everyone treats you because

“You Started It!”

2 thoughts on “IT STARTS FROM YOU!”

  1. Didii says:

    I have learnt a lot from this beautiful well penned down observation…
    I sincerely appreciate your wit and manner of writing and so proud to be associated with you….see you at the top

  2. Olaiya-O. 'Bolaji S. says:

    Thanks for the motivation and kind words, Didii. Your great potentials are worth coveting. I’ll sure see you at the top.

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